I have three sisters, but currently Stacie is in the running for my favorite since she so kindly did this blog post for me (hint, hint, Jenn). Also because she studied journalism in college, so anytime I have a grammar question at work I know I can text her and get a smart answer.
Beyond her excellent grammar skills, she’s also a pretty cool sister (when we’re not both hangry). She makes an excellent shopping partner, roommate and talk-for-hours friend. And she treats her dog like a child. Which although I understand about as much as she understand why I want children, I think it’s pretty awesome and I will agree her dog is pretty cute in all his Instagram photos. Plus she’s [almost] forgiven me for running over her arm with a golf cart when we were little.
I also find it kind of awesome to see the opinions of all my sisters. Some things we agree on wholeheartedly, and some things we are vastly different. It kind of brings up that whole nature/nurture idea and it fascinates me.
Moms and Families
I am not a mother, unless you count my dog, and I am currently undecided if I ever actually want to be one. When I see moms in action, I have a hard time comprehending how they manage it all without losing their minds. I also feel that if I take the plunge and agree to the task of raising small humans, I will need to maintain at least a part-time job to keep my sanity. I do think that being a mom is one of the hardest things an adult could decide to do and it definitely takes a lot to raise a responsible and contributing adult. I very much respect moms, but I do not feel that it’s something everyone needs to experience.
Like motherhood, I think the traditional family structure works for some families, and that’s great, but I am not really someone who believes in the necessity of tradition or what always has been is how it always should be. I grew up in what I would consider a traditional family and I would say I had a fairly great childhood, but I do not think that is how it has to be done for everyone.
Equality and Gender Roles
I consider myself a feminist. I want equality for men and women, but I don’t necessarily have a story off the top of my head when I was treated unequal. I’m sure something has come up in my lifetime, but nothing that made an impact enough to stick out right now.
I think people should be respectful and courteous of each other, no matter what. I think it is nice to have my husband open the door for me, but I don’t expect it, nor would I ever just wait at a door until he opens it for me. I can open my own door, thankyouverymuch. If I believe women and men should be treated equal, why should a woman need special graces or treated better than men in specific circumstances? I find the little things my husband does for me nice, but I’d like to think he does them because he loves and cares about me, not because he feels it’s necessary because I’m a woman and he’s a man.
Overall though, the expectations of gender roles is one of the harder things to deal with as a woman. I’m hypocritical in saying that, since I pretty much have traditional gender roles in my marriage, but I hate it that certain things seem to be expected just because I’m a girl or that I can’t do things because I’m a woman.
For instance, I cannot personally relate to this, and I know it is definitely not across the board, but being expected to do all things “caretaker” for the children without much support from a significant other has got to be really difficult as a mother and woman. I hate the idea that just because you’re the girl, you’re the one who is responsible for anything child related. It just forces the notion that women are only good for raising kids and keeping up with house duties. And there’s little things I hear too often, like women with kids needing to ask their husband if he’ll babysit in order for them to have dinner with friends but it’s never referred to as babysitting when it’s the moms and the kids.
Insecurities and Wishes
I’m most insecure about not being smart enough or capable enough. It makes it hard to put myself out there to try, let alone accomplish some things. I always worry that there’s someone who will do it better or is better prepared to do the job and that I’ll embarrass myself for trying. I worry that what I can do or what I have to say isn’t valid or useful.
If I could wish for someone’s life, Vera Wang or J.K. Rowling are who come to mind first. They both have jobs doing two things that I would love to do, and have been really successful at them. They both seem like strong women who are not afraid to create and push for success. I also admire how J.K. Rowling can voice her opinion and stand up for her beliefs with bluntness and little bit of sass without seeming immature or ignorant.
A question for the female readers:
What has been your greatest accomplishment or event in your life that you are most proud of and why?