the she series: answers from anonymous

I met her at work. We bonded over a shared love of food and book genres. And then one day I realized this late twenties woman in advertising, living in Brooklyn, was nowhere to be found on social media. How did she do it? How was I supposed to know what she ate for dinner the previous night??

Along with her distrust of the internet, she is the person I turn to first for a good non-fiction book recommendation. And also the person I talk to first about the most amazing (or lame) book I just finished.

She is beyond open-minded, and I am almost jealous of the fact that she grew up discussing things like politics and world economics with her father. (I barely knew what politics meant in my twenties.) And after He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named became president, she also started a “dinner group” whose sole focus was to come together for more political action–and in lieu of eating out, everyone would meet at her apartment and use the money saved to donate to a good cause.

I can have the most fascinating, fun, and thoughtful conversations with her. And that is why I’m so happy she agreed to share some of that insight here.


Feminism and Equality

I consider myself 100% feminist, and 100% believe there should be equality for men and women. It’s as simple as that. As far as chivalry, I think people should be thoughtful, kind, and fair to each other, regardless of gender.

I’ve been paid less than male coworkers who had less experience. I’ve been shouted at and followed on the street. I’ve been badgered for not wanting to walk home late at night. I’ve been talked down to because of my appearance. People often assume because I’m a woman and I look young that I’m simply not capable of doing my job or being in the senior position I’m in.

Luckily, I think, there are a million more advantages than disadvantages to being a woman. The hardest part, though, is probably not having your rights respected, legitimized or taken seriously. Why are a group of men in charge of my morality and lifestyle? In charge of telling me if I can or can not have an abortion? Telling me that the pay gap is not real? Telling me rape isn’t rape if it seemed like she was “asking for it”? That a man’s future is worth more than mine? Or that I’m silly/complaining for even bringing up the idea that gender imbalances could exist?

Family and Education

I would also personally say college is absolutely important for everyone, and stay-at-home moms are no different. College is where you form so many relationships, experience so many new things, and learning is your JOB! How amazing is that? Even if you don’t plan on using your degree in a traditional sense, the changes to your perspective, opening of your worldview, and general growth that are part of the typical college experience are something I hope everyone gets the opportunity to experience.

Right now I don’t have children, and I’m not sure I see them in my future. That said, I grew up with The. Best. Mom. So from the perspective of someone with a mother, I think it’s incredible! I am so thankful to have had such an incredible mom who has taught me so much, been absurdly patient and open, and also a ton of fun! It really is a unique and special bond!

I 100% support any family that loves each other, no matter what kind of family they are! (For the record, I was raised in a “traditional family” with my mom, dad, and sister. Can’t complain one bit.)

More Power To Them

Sometimes I feel that I’m not doing enough. I don’t have enough cool passion projects, or I’m not participating in enough.

There’s no way I could pick one woman I’d secretly wish to be, but if I could combine a few the list would include Oprah, Amy Poheler, Yoko Ono, Misty Copeland, Angela Merkel, and Michelle Obama. haha! I admire those who are accomplished, and who add intrigue, fun, and thoughtfulness to the world.


A question for the female readers:

What is your most influential book by a female author or work by a female artist?


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