You know how when people are married and you’re told not to ask if they’re planning on having kids. But then you do want to ask because you want someone to talk to about your own baby thoughts? Well, that’s me.
Maybe because I’ve gone through the gamut of baby feelings. From having them, to being told I could never have them again, to coming to terms with having only 2, to realizing I might have one again, to not knowing when I could have one again… But I feel like I want to know what other people think about babies. Are they waiting for the perfect time in their career, or are they just going to wing it? Is it hard to get pregnant? Are they scared to be pregnant at 40? Would they rather just never have a baby?
As for me, lets start with the fact that the term “baby hungry” has confused me many times. It’s like a mythical experience I’ve assumed girls pretend they’ve had so they don’t feel left out.
To me, babies are like big lumps of mush that cry, poop their pants, and prevent you from getting anything useful done. Unless it’s changing their diaper or feeding their crying face. I mean, I once wrote an essay about how they lose out to toddlers. (Which they totally do, no question.)
Maybe I just never gave myself the chance to have the baby munchies. Maybe life was just so easy and I had babies before I even realized the want for them. Or I was too young and carefree to over-think the implications and responsibilities a baby brings.
Before I had any kids I wanted 6, which was obviously because I was crazy (and have a weird thing with even numbers). Then I had Mason and decided to cut back to an even 4. Then, you know, all that other life stuff happened – and I was pushed to the decisions that the 2 babies I already had were plenty. I could be done with diapers for life!
Then along came this Tyler fellow (and thinking about it now, this might be all his fault).
I think I may have experienced a slight twinge of baby hunger. It’s so weird. I feel like I need to go so some sort of meeting in a church basement. “Hi, I’m Emily and I have experienced a fleeting desire to have a baby.” It probably doesn’t help that EVERYONE around me has either just had a baby or is going to have a baby. Or that my own children ask for a sibling.
Did you know that the other day my boss brought her new baby into the office to visit, and I actually asked to hold it? Me!! I voluntarily reached for a goobery pile of baby. I sort of feel like this.
Seriously though, my brain is befuddled. Babies are so much responsibility and work. Not to mention that thing they do where they disturb your sleep. But then sometimes I think I could have one and love it anyway. My mind is either completely confusing or positively entertaining to Tyler. (Which is probably why he kept trying to look over my shoulder as I wrote this post.)