and here we are

one year.So weird to think about I don’t even really know what to say.

Maybe it’s because it happened to fall on one of the busiest days of my whole school life. Or because this busy day happened to come right after a very late night which in turn made me very tired. Maybe because today feels pretty much like it has every other day for the last year. Or because my super busy day hasn’t really ended because I have two final papers to write. Or because I’m so tired but busy that I feel like I can’t even think straight on any given day.

I miss you every day Erik. Sometimes I think I should have acted a little more needy so that you had to stay around to help me. The boys still talk about how you used to throw them on the bed. And that one time you tried to throw me and I fell off (they still think it’s so funny). And Milo loves to bring up how he has green eyes just like you. And Mason is trying his hardest to fill your shoes (and I see you in him almost every day). Always opening my door, unbuckling my seatbelt, reminding me to lock the car. And don’t worry, they both tell me I look pretty and that they love me all the time.

Alright, for someone who didn’t have anything to say, I sure can say a lot. I’ll stop now. Because otherwise I could go on for quite some time, and no one really wants that.

And just so you know, I can only do this because I don’t do anything alone. Thank you for your help. Everyone.

ps. A few people have been wondering, so – after a few problems and a lot of waiting, the headstone is finally here. Not exactly what I had envisioned, but that’s what I get for being a perfectionist.

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10 thoughts on “and here we are

  1. Amanda told me that it was a year this week. I am thinking about you and your family, Emily. I have only known you through this blog, but Amanda always talks so highly of you and your awesomeness.I sort of wish I was part of the Asian Emily gang!

  2. Hard to believe it's really been a year. We think about him daily too. He was such a great person. You amaze us Emily, how well you are doing raising those little boys. He is watching over and proud as ever I just know it!!!!

  3. Emily,You continue to amaze me. I do not know how Erik got so lucky!! I think about Erik a lot, and I know he still watches over you and those precious boys. Mason has such a sweet heart like his daddy, and Milo looks so much like Erik. If they ever want to hear funny stories about their daddy when he was young let me know I could tell them stories for hours.

  4. Hi Emily,Can't believe it's been a year. I think of Erik every single day. I am so glad the headstone is finally up. Take care of yourself and those sweet little boys.

  5. Grant and I think about Erik everyday. We didn't forget you yesturday. You and the boys are in our thoughts and prayers. You amaze us so much. Your boys remind us sooo much of Erik. We love you and are so grateful for your friendship.

  6. One year. Thinking of you guys, Hopefully we'll get to see you guys out in Utah this summer while we live in Bountiful (for 6 weeks) or up in Park City. Erik's headstone is beautiful, I tried to enlarge the picture to read the quote but I couldn't…I'm sure it's perfect!

  7. Hey Em, I was out of town and I meant to send you a card before I left, but obviously I did not get around to it. I have been thinking about you and Erik a lot over the past few weeks, knowing that the year mark was coming up.This was a sweet post. Thanks for sharing your feelings about this day.

  8. The stone is beautiful! The words are so touching! It's been a year, but it seems like only yesterdays. A wise lady once said to me that, " the heartache of missing someone we love never goes away. It only gets a little easier to bear, with time.

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