So I realize that my blog is not as exciting to read as it may once have been. Not that exciting is the right word. But before it was so easy for me to write because I didn’t have to talk about myself ever. More about what was going on. The other day I was talking to a friend and we decided that we just don’t like to share a whole lot about our personal lives. Of course it’s easy to share little stories here and there or recent events of the family. But one of my favorite blogs is the one I read that tells all about every feeling and every thought the girl is feeling. So I know what will make my blog one of those that everyone wants to read, I just don’t know if I am the person who wants that. Or maybe just not the person who can do that. Sometimes I think about posting a thought I have here or there – but then I immediately think not to for fear that I will be that blog that people read to have their “Debbie Downer” moments. Or that people will feel like they have to leave me uplifting, happy, “you are so strong” comments. And I don’t want people to feel like that – nor do I want to make people depressed while reading my blog.

But I was persuaded tonight by a friend who vowed to be a little more personal in her blogs – if she can do it why can’t I? I will warn you though, don’t get your expectations too high here – big things like this can’t really happen overnight I suppose. So for my first big “feelings” blog I am going to get a little creative – me being my random self and all. Every day or so I hear a song and think, “Oh, this is so what I am thinking.” So I decided to make a little songlist. My thoughts in a mix CD. I realize that this might not help everyone since some songs may be ones you haven’t heard of – and some songs might just have a few songs I relate to – but hey, no complaining – it’s better than nothing!
dreaming with a broken heart – john mayer
everybody knows – dixie chicks
i still miss you – keith anderson
so hard – dixie chicks
everybody – keith urban
doesn’t remind me – audioslave
just a dream – carrie underwood
wish you were here – incubus
Ok. I think that’s all i can think of for now. And although these songs all appear to be more on the thoughtful and i might say somewhat depressing side – I don’t generally feel this way. I think that whatever it is I feel it cannot really be described (maybe that’s why I tried using songs instead) and yet I don’t wish anyone to fell sorry for me or like I’m moping. I really feel normal – whatever that means right? But that’s how I feel. Obviously I seem that a comparable situation is that a tornado has come through my life and spun everything around. But what do you do with that. You can’t just sit around and stare at the broken mess around you. At some point you have to get up and start cleaning.
Well, well – for one not into sharing feelings so much I sure have a lot to blab about.
Random picture.

7 thoughts on “feelings

  1. Love this post, naturally. I really like music as a way to express feelings – especially feelings that are difficult to share and music can give life to emotions you don’t know how to talk about. Very cool idea.As you know, I somewhat struggle with being open as well, but I guess we can give it a shot, right?Love whirled peas.

  2. ok. i know that there are many country songs on my current life mix cd, but those are just the ones i’ve noticed right now. i will expand my search next time – just for you cause your eyes are like mine.

  3. So how are you doing? No, how are you really doing? I’m just kidding. I’m glad you feel normal, most of the time I feel like a freak of nature. My emotions are equal to that of a pregnant person. Anything can set me off and I don’t even get a baby after 9 months. That doesn’t seem fair.

  4. I love your song list…I’m headed over to iTunes to check them out. I’m a big “express myself” with the music girl. I have my hard rock for working out and going to the dentist’s office, my mellow stuff for my pity parties, my talk radio for cleaning the bathroom…I’m going to go examine what I have on my iPod and see what it REALLY says about me.

  5. Hi Emily, I hope you don’t think it is weird that I check your blog regularly since we have only met once but it is really comforting to see you and the kids doing well. I know you have your moments and don’t show them to everyone but that is ok. You have to grieve in your own way. I am just very thankful for your kids that you have been able to move forward and keep smiling. I am very proud of you and I know Erik is smiling to. I am sorry if this is weird I just think about your little family alot and I am so glad you can find happy times together. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us.

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