I feel like for once within the last 10 days I can finally relax. As most of you know today we celebrated and remembered Erik (and his crazy, accident prone life). Getting to today has been so crazy and busy with all the planning, choices to make, phone calls to answer that I feel like it’s kept my thoughts other places. I know it’s all happening, but it just seems so weird that it almost seems hard for me to comprehend. It might be a mix of being busy and tired, but I feel a little spaced. It’s probably what’s helping me. I definatly don’t think I’m holding together so well all on my own. First of all I have a wonderful family around me. They have all been here to help keep me company, take care of the boys, clean my house, or any other random errand I’ve needed done this past week. Second I have great friends. All the sincere offers for help and the thoughtful words of encouragement and love really help me out. And last, but of course not least, would be all of the prayers and blessings that have been sent my way. I am so thankful that there are so many people out there that are praying for our little family. Even though it is not a tangible thing, I feel like right now it provides us with the greatest help I can ever ask for. The only way I can think to explain how I’ve done everything is to say its just not all me. So keep them coming if you don’t mind – especially for the boys. They still seem to be handling this all so well, but of course being their mother I worry about them every day. They are wonderful, they are entertaining, and most of all they are so loving to me. I tell them I’ll take good care of them, but I know that they are going to be what keeps me going too. Nothing like a hug from little arms to make you happy!

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14 thoughts on “

  1. Emily,You have been so strong and amazing through all of this. Erik was lucky to have found such a great wife and mother. You are wonderful with the boys. I know that those little hugs and smiles are what help us get through the hard times. You and the boys are in our prayers. I know you have family around to help, but if you need anything or just someone different to talk to please call.Holly and family

  2. Emily,You are truly remarkable. Your strength amazes everyone around. The funeral services yesterday were beautiful. The song choices were perfect. The stories were fun to listen to. The speakers were awesome. The fact that you got up and shared some thoughts and feelings will stick with many of us forever. It doesn’t get any braver than that. We promise to continue to pray for you and the boys… Thanks again for sharing Erik with all of us in many different ways. You and the boys will be blessed through this difficult time.We love you

  3. Emily,You are so brave and strong. You are such a great example to your boys. I know that you will be able to take such great care of them. I hope that through this difficult time and weeks to come you can feel Heavenly Father’s love along with every else’s around you. I wasn’t able to make it to the funeral because I’m out of town but I want you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Erik was so lucky to have you. He was awesome. Please let me know if there is anything I can to help.Lauren

  4. Hi Emily – I just think you are so brave to get up to the pulpet and say a few words. We were very moved. You are very brave and strong woman. -CarinePS. When you are out and about in Salt Lake, I can watch the boys. Ava has been mentioning them every day now.

  5. Emily-It was so good to see you all again this weekend, I just wish it was under different circumstances. It was my first time meeting Milo, and let me tell you, he is soooo precious. When I look at him I see Erik! Mason is a doll too. Just wanted you to know all of us in Texas are thinking about you always.Love always,Paige

  6. Emily, It was a beautiful service and so touching. I’m not one to cry much, but the words and spirit touched me and I wept throughout. Erik was truly loved by many,I could tell. The strength you’ve felt is truly from prayers and the Holy Ghost’s comforting presence. While I have not had the tragedy of losing a spouse, I can tell you from the loss of my sister and parents, that His comfort is real. Now that you have time to think and feel, please continue to lean on others. There will be a time you’ll feel like talking, and those who love you will willingly listen to you say the same things again and again until the pain diminishes. My prayers are with you and the boys, Lynda H.

  7. Emily,I can imagine the daze this must feel like. It was a long time coming but came so fast..if that makes any sense. I have always observed you to be someone who can multi-task and still keep up on things that need attention. I hope you continue to allow people to help you knowing that they won’t feel the least bit put out. I know many people who are hoping to get a call from you so they can serve you and your boys. I’ll be one of them in August. Of course, if you need anything from Philly I can deliver now! My girls were thrilled to hear the boys’ responses to their dancing and pics on our blog. Thinking of you,Casale’s

  8. Em,I love your blog posts. I love that you are so honest with your feelings on it. The service for Erik was really nice. Your words were a wonderful tribute to him. Of course I will continue to think and pray for you and your boys. Hopefully I’ll see you soon,Amanda

  9. Hi Emily,I just want you to know that I really enjoyed meeting you & your boys (they are so cute)…I just wish it could’ve been under different circumstances. Needless to say, you seem to be a very strong person (much more so than I could ever be), and Erik was very lucky to have you! You and the boys will forever be in my thoughts and prayers (I think I’ve managed to get the entire east coast and the military in on the prayers as well)!! Take care,Heather Decker (was Pearson…I was good friends w/Erik in high school)

  10. wow!!!! you are such a strong woman. the Lord will take care of you and your little monkeys:) your boys are so lucky to have you as an example to them. you are an example to those you probably dont even know. our prayers are with you!!nicole humphrey furness

  11. I love you Elder Rudy…You were the best missionary ever!Many times we had lunch together in my house in Brazil…My family loves you! Thank you for showing us the gospel and for making me an active member of the Church…It is hard to say goodbye but, because of you I know for sure that we’ll meet again!Te amo meu amigo!!!

  12. Emily- reading your entry reminded me so much of how I felt at first. I was totaly dazed. I felt brain dead. I can remember unloading the dishwasher and taking a hand full of the girls silverware and walking over to the banister and chucking them to the bottom of the stairs. For some reason I thought I was holding a handful of toys. I think thats the way it has to be. For me it seems like the emotion came in small very painful spurts. Many as I go to bed at night, when the house is quite and I’m alone with my thoughts. Anyway I have been thinking about you a lot. It’s true your kids will help you so much. I feel like mine are constantly giving me inspiration that I need to hear and looking at their faces that I can see their Father in, I know he has never really left.

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